Hotensify Catapults 13th-Century Castle TV System Into the 21st Century
Edinburgh, Scotland — In a bold move that historians are calling “unexpected” and guests are calling “finally,” Hotensify has successfully upgraded the TV system of a 13th-century castle hotel.
For centuries, visitors to the fortress were limited to staring at stone walls, tapestries, and the occasional joust reenactment. But thanks to Hotensify’s engineers (armed only with Cat 6 cables, ladders, and a questionable fondness for bagpipes), guests can now enjoy 4K content in rooms that once housed crossbows.
“This proves our capacity to bring modern technology to even the most stubborn structures in Scotland,” said a Hotensify spokesperson, moments before asking Siri how to say “moat-proof” in Gaelic.
Early guest reactions have been enthusiastic:
-
“Back in my day, we had to gather in the great hall and listen to a minstrel. Now I’ve got 200 channels in my turret suite. Progress!” — Sir Angus the Slightly Confused (guest since 1384).
-
“The walls may be stone, but the pictures? Absolutely solid.” — Lady Fiona of Netflixshire.
-
“Finally, I can stream Game of Thrones while sitting on an actual throne.” — Anonymous but clearly thrilled guest.
Industry experts agree: if Hotensify can get Netflix through walls thicker than Scotland’s shortbread, they can handle just about anything.
About Hotensify:
Hotensify blends cutting-edge technology with historic hospitality, ensuring even castles stay binge-ready. Knights not included.